wearing tom’s in public…

so today is the dave matthews band show.

its only 3 hours away and already i am pacing with excitement.

dmb songs have been soundtracks to my life.

and seeing them live has always been magical.

which brings me to this…

im wearing my toms shoes.

i love tom and what he’s doing but his shoe’s aren’t the most masculine looking shoes on the planet.

if i wore them is south america, where they were inspired, then it would be no big deal.

but i live in military central, where fellas only go to dmb shows b/c they either love the band or they follow the girls who love the band. or dave.

so my toms might stand out a bit. which is the point after all. getting the word out.

besides i like them.

and im a different kind of dude.

spread the word…www.tomsshoes.com

ill write all about the show tomorrow.

screaming…

my ava is upstairs crying her eyes out.

diaper is clean.

she’s not teething or sick.

she may have gas.

but mostly she’s mad. mad that bedtime came too soon. mad that she didn’t get to play with Jaden’s cars as much as she wanted. mad that i have only sung you are my sunshine to her a dozen times today.

i would like to think that maybe she just wants to stay awake and be with us as much as i just want to be with her and jaden.

the world is new everyday to her though. and she doesn’t want to miss anything i bet.

jaden knows that unless he rests he’ll be too tired to enjoy tomorrow. so he drinks his milk, pulls the blanket on his head sleeps to the music of ava’s protests.

ava falls asleep when her strength runs out.

being a dad is cool.

and i understand where she’s coming from.

there are never enough hours. there is never enough time. and there is always too much i want to do or have to do.

im ava completely. staying ar wake until my eyelids feel heavy. i need to be like jaden, cool, “chill man, drink your milk, grab the blanket and sleep dude”.

how do you de-crazy the craziness?

music, music, music…

dude…

i love music. its no secret. anyone who knows me knows that sooner or later you’re going to have to talk music with me…alot. sorry. its just the rules. one of GOD’s great gifts to us was the ability to make music.

with that being said, last night star and i saw an up and coming band, Thriving Ivory. you may have seen them on Vh1 recently. they’re generating a buzz. my little ava loves them. she claps when she hears their songs or sees the video. star loves them. so there we were in the nova, front row center, jamming. and they sounded amazing. to use the cliche “just like the cd”. but yes, i swept up in the music. just like three nights ago at counting crows. its good to see a new band being able to do that. so check them out www.thrivingivory.com and get some of their music. you’ll love it. i promise.

i do want to mention one of the opening acts too. a little songbird named morgan epstein. she’s a youngster, a piano player and a songwriter. she was so nervous last night, especially with all of her friends in the front going bananas. but she pulled through. the reason I mention her is that she’s also rasing money for factor v. i don’t know much about it but i do know its a hereditary thing that causes blood clots, which can be awfully scary. probably scarier than performing for 30 people there last night. send her some love and prayers at www.morganepstein.com.

so tell me some bands i need know!

angels of the silences

last night. counting crows.

the show was amazing.

sarah bareilles opened the show and honestly, she was really good. that girl has some talent.

then it was maroon 5’s turn. i don’t really like them but they got all the girls dancing. which works out for their boyfriends and husbands i guess.

i went to the bathroom and got food during their set.

finally counting crows took the stage.

i remembered why i love them so much. it was like watching something beautiful being made with the most perfect music.

if you ever have the chance to see them, do so.

who’s your favorite band?

duty day diatribe

i have duty today.

in the navy you have duty. for this it means i have to stay on the ship for a complete 24 hour period.

why you ask?

its not like we can lock the doors and set the alarm on this big gray thing.

________________________________________________________________________________________

i meant to write about yesterday well…yesterday.

i think it would be cool if all of us shared the sermons we heard on sunday.

our speaker was a christian missionary living in a muslim country on the “down-low”. (for obvious security reasons those are the only details necessary).

he talked about Matthew 25:31-46, the parable of the sheep and goats.

to be honest i forgot most of it. not that it wasn’t good but i started daydreaming. not random things. real questions ran through my head, one after the other, like a marathon race.

how much courage must it take to do what he and his family is doing. he is truly at the most hostile “away game” you can find.  its humbling being in the company of someone like this. that is bravery at its best.

on second thought, its not courage. its faith. complete faith in God.

the verses spoke about when Jesus returns and He gathers the sheep to Him, saying you clothed me, fed me, gave me drink, etc, whenever you did that to the least of these.

what did i take from all of it? there are those of us who travel to the far reaches of the world and spread Christ’s love and message in places that most of the world has forgotten. and to you, you are superheroes. and some of us stay here, being Christ’s example to those who know us, and our communities. and you too are truly superheroes.

me? honestly?  i need to be transformed in the most deperate way…as long as we’re being honest. is transformation from your own effort or is the grace of God taking you up, spinning you all about yourself and instantly being transformed? so i search…sometimes so hard it hurts and sometimes so half-heartedly that when i think about it now i disappoint myself. i think at the end of the day, i want to be rocked like Paul was on the road to Damascus.

blind me.

freak my buddies out.

change my name.

change my heart.

use me to change the world.

if you want.

i want to be those sheep gathered unto Him. and i am falling short.

sorry if this seems random or disjointed. just my thoughts right now.

so what was your sermon about?

why do you do it?

i had a thought today.

i want to ask you a question.

i need an answer.

and ask your friends.

and have them answer.

why do you blog?

also…a simple about me page is up so you can see my ugly mug if you want.

today i am writing about…

lately gossip, trash talking or whatever you want to call it seems to have been constantly bothering me. and i had the full intention of pulling out a soapbox and rant and rave and scream and moan until i was blue in the face.

but what’s the point?

here’s my rant ………    don’t do it and don’t tolerate other people doing it around you. its in the bible. look it up. and if you are not a believer, then its just good common sense.

and do not trash talk another blog or blogger. seriously, you don’t have enough to do?

—————————————————————————————————

i wrote alot more about it but in the end i decided not to.

i was watching my twin 1 year olds playing. they woke up early this morning.

star is upstairs catching up on the 5 months of sleep she missed while i was away.

i watch them and i can feel my heart soaring and breaking all in the same moment.

soaring because my kids are beautiful, perfectly beautiful.

your kids are too. not more than mine. but im biased. and you are too.

but you know what i mean.

breaking because they’re a little everyday is so precious with them and missed 5 months.

they are brand new again.

but its been so fun meeting them all over. no, its been amazing.

today i feel blessed.

positive post tuesday….blessings

its tuesday. Brody posts all about positive on tuesday. so ill do the same.

i’ve been home since friday. and while a few of my days have been stolen by duty days, its good to look out and see norfolk. i know, who would have thought?

when i say i am home i don’t mean here.

what makes this home to me is my wife. wherever i am, as long as she’s here it feels like home to me. you know, the place where you feel safe and anchored….no matter what.

she has talent that girl.

and now the babies i left in february are now little people with their quirks and nuances.

thanks to my wife, they are beautiful. she has put the best parts of her into them and it shines, simply shines.

so this tuesday, it is me being thankful to her, and for her.

more than i could ever show.

so it ends, so it begins

its sunday and apparently stats suck today. its okay. im a lowkey dude.

just writing to say that im home. finally.

the kids are destroying their lunch right now. it looks like they blew up the produce counter at the grocery store. the plus side is that they remembered me as soon as they saw me. they aren’t supposed to be able to do that someone said. so either they’re geniuses or, well, im kind of a big deal…………….at least to them.

anyways, this blog will be in full swing now. so stay tuned.

Day 9 – the end is near

i have a lot to say.

i have been trying to write something for the last hour.

but it goes everywhere, like my little toddlers at home, everywhere at a million miles an hour.

on the plus side it has left with enough to write about for months.

it all just wants to come out at once.

ill take baby steps…

i want to do some thank you’s.

first is my wife – to quote Almost Famous “I miss you like last summer”. when i close my eyes at night, all i see is that last embrace before i left in the still dark morning. you’ve kept me strong.

to my babies – im sorry i had to leave. watching you grow through pictures has hurt more than i can ever tell you. but seeing you with those blonde curls and those eyes so full of love and life is a gift that i will treasure.  thank you for being such a blessing.

i didn’t blog before i left. and i owe some of you for encouraging me in that. but honestly, i am more thankful that you blog. you challenge me. here we say perception is reality. you guys change my perceptions almost daily. your words have helped me while i have been gone, to take the time to find my way. just know that your words, your views, your opinions, and your journeys have been so important to me.

most of all, i thank GOD for showing me the things he has revealed to me while i have been gone. each day i have felt that HE has been trying to speak to me. especially lately.

——————————————————————————–

okay. now that my oscar acceptance speech is through.

the updates will be daily once i get home. i promise. don’t give up on me yet.