im closing this blog.

i don’t like it at all.

i have started again.

www.adamonfire.wordpress.com

its more me there.

there really isn’t. i believe things happen for a reason and when they happen there is a message in them.

i signed up on facebook today. i was fighting it because its just one more account to log into and frankly i don’t have the time. but i did it.

and i found a friend from over 10 years ago.

that’s cool, you say.

the thing is i have been wrestling about GOD. it doesn’ t feel like HE likes me. i don’t get moved in church. the songs i hear spark nothing in me whatsoever. sometimes it feels like HE just left without any explanation.

and then i find my friend.

and my friend and i have been through things since we saw each other last.

i feel like there are stories to tell and things to learn that may have been what i have been stuck on all of this time.

i don’t think it was random that all of this happened today. i think maybe GOD saw me in need and made this happen.

at least i hope so.

more to come.

come find me on facebook here.

do things like this happen where you are?

ever felt like that?

kind of like walking into a museum and not knowing what to see first.

or having a ton to say but not knowing how to start.

kind of like that.

ill start with something easy.

this morning during the commute to work, traffic went from 70mph to zero in a matter of seconds.

its always like this but that’s not the point.

as i stomped on the brake and caught my breath, that sense of dread you get sometimes just washed over me.

i looked in my rearview mirror and watched the headlights behind me get closer and closer until they disappeared out of sight.

i gripped my steering wheel, gritted my teeth with all of my might, and braced for the bump.

but no bump happened.

the car stopped. although it seemed like it was close enough for the driver to reach in my car and turn the radio station.

how much of life is like that?

you’re sailing along, able to avoid some danger on one hand and then find yourself bracing for something else.

and at the end all you have is you holding on for dear life and with a funny face?

hi.

we haven’t talked in a good while. i know. its just like me to just drop out and to come around again.

but i think we’re friends. and real friends accept one another as they are right? isn’t that how its supposed to go?

it’s hard here in my world right now.

i feel a little helpless because there are things happening.

i can’t go into it. some things are private. we’re all going to be there one day. i hope its easier for you.

its hard to know that God loves you when things like this are going on. its harder when your arms and words can’t take pain away completely.

but there has been sunshine. you know that must mean a concert.

starlite and I got to see tristan prettyman in a very small intimate setting, a yoga studio. it was a radio station invite/contest thing and i missed the contest.  long story short tristan prettyman put us on the list herself. how super cool is that?

her set was brief but perfect. and it was the twin’s first concert. afterwards she came right over and introduced herself. and she loves kids. and my kids love her. they dance to her cd now. she signed autographs and posed for pictures in the heat. she’s on tour right now, and i know she’s road weary, being a traveler myself but you would have never known. she has grace, real natural grace. that’s awfully rare i think.

that was definetely a highlight of the last two weeks. one im grateful for.

so go here or here. find out about tristan. you’ll be glad you did.

and any prayers you want to throw up to the big guy would be cool too.

yes.

i just wrote that.

you gasped when you read it.

i heard you.

why?

today there is a case of a toddler who was starved to death because he refused to say “amen”.

his mother was in a cult.

have you ever seen someone starving to death?

to make it worse his mother stuffed his little tiny body into a suitcase, and would spray disinfectant every so often because she believed God would resurrect him.

some of us aren’t shocked.

these kill me everytime.

i cried on my couch one night after hearing about the father that threw all four of his young children off a bridge in alabama to get back at his wife over some argument.

i shouldn’t be surprised. we hear about how broken the world is every sunday. and we all shake our heads in agreement and then move onto our “personal” relationship with God and how following Him will make our lives full and complete.

i know this isn’t the most fun post you’ve ever read.

there is a list of questions i struggle with trying to follow Jesus.

this is a big one. Why does God let bad things happen?

My pastor likes to quote that verse in romans “All things work together for the glory of God…” or something like that.

part of me thinks…”Dude, how does this little boy being starved to death work for glory?”

so yeah, sometimes, i do want to punch Jesus in the nose. only because i want answers.

how do you deal with this stuff?

i am a blog fanboy. i know. i accept it. i live with it.

my rollcall isn’t nearly as big as the list of blogs i read. it should be. you’re right. ill work on that.

this lovely tuesday i want to talk about some people that inspired or affected me and my world this week.

ive never met anyone who writes the blogs i read.

i hope to. i probably will. i think you should probably try to meet the people you’ve been reading for a while. you know they’re real people by what they write but i think that if you only read these people and not meet them then they are more an idea.

make sense?

tam has been shaking the world up this week with her posts. authenticity has been escaping her head and hands in spades so go read about it. its good to see people being so honest about life. there’s strength in being open and tam is a powerlifter, only not with the gut and the sweatiness.

john edwards made the news this week. joshua said everything there is to say about it.

alot of times when we go to church, all we hear is the sugar coated goodness about life in Christ and there are never any problems and everything is okay, like you’re trapped in the Truman Show or something. however, this is real, the other side of it.

amos, tyler, and all of the west coast bloggers are making me seriously consider moving to the west coast.

say it slow - california - sounds romantic and mysterious huh?

i only forward you these links because its what challenged me this week. ive said before how much i love you guys. what makes me smile is just how many real conversations are taking place in blogdom and not just celebrity gossip or people giving play by play to their lives.

so thank you guys.

and for those of you who may want to meet the culprit behind this rambling nonsense of a blog, email me, and we’ll set something up.

john edwards admits to an affair he previously lied about.

russia invades georgia with planes and tanks.

caylee anthony is still missing and everyone thinks her mom knows something and is not telling.

i could give line after line of nothing but the worst of the world but i wont.

im sitting here wondering just how bad it will all be before it ever gets better.

sometimes it seems that the prayers of the broken and the hopeful are lost before they can reach the heavens.

im just tired. sorry for grumbling.

alright.

every duty day i am going to spout out some zippy one/two liners much like brody or tyler do weekly. so here goes:

1. speaking of brody, he’s doing kind of a big thing so go to his blog and follow on to phil whickham and help make it huge.

2. tyler is doing some cool things too so go check him out.

3. and of course carlos is doing the t-shirt design contest.

4. so i saw a preview of the movie “The Watchmen”. its based on a graphic novel. someone on my ship had it so i investigated. its a little gritty but if it stays true to the book, its going to be epic.

5. i had a discussion with some friends this past week about why can’t christians seem to get along. i respect every denomination, don’t get me wrong, but at some point we all have to realize there is a central starting and ending point (alpha and omega???) and maybe before its all said and done, we should put aside our preferences and go back there?

6. check out www.jedidiahusa.com .

one last thing…i say we start doing gorilla promotion of everyone’s blog. i haven’t quite got it all figured out but im going to star leaving printouts of cool posts around the office. just to see what’ll happen. try it. the worst that can happen is you get yelled at for leaving a mess. it will be nostalgic…like when you wouldn’t clean your room.

its my first day back to work from my vacation. which means friday is monday for me right now. how is that possible? no now i get monday twice in four days. its a travesty.

im tired, almost exhausted but not quite. why? because the dave matthews show last night was probably the best concert i have ever been to in my life.

what made it so great? tim reynolds’ band TR3 opened. if you haven’t heard or seen tim play, he’s one of the best guitarists in the world, hands down. he’s a quiet little guy and uses the guitar talk to you and there he speaks volumes.  during the set, someone in a winnie the pooh costume came out and danced during his cover of “Get Up”. too funny. the whole set got us in the mood for dave.

the DMB hit the stage. much like counting crows, this band has been in the background for everything important in my life. maybe more than counting crows. i play guitar now because of dave matthews. i met my wife because of dave matthews. we were both 19. we were at pensecola, about to start training for our occupation in the navy. she was bragging that she had third row tickets to dave & tim reynolds acoustic. so i secretly was jealous of her for many years.

the band’s setlist was perfect. if you haven’t heard dmb live or couldn’t get tickets before, there are all sorts of places to get live shows. and if you want ill send you some. its that important.

everyone was dancing and hilarious. one girl was so sweaty next to me from the heat and her dancing that when she whipped her head i think she flicked sweat on me.

the show was so great mostly because I was with starlite, and it was like we were young again, having fun, dancing around to our favorite band. im sure all of you have magic moments that are only magic because of the person there with you. tell them today, right now, about those moments and why they are magic to you.

and I did rock the TOM’s. and i did get curious looks and a few people asked me about them. so hopefully TOM and his shoes have a few more hits on their site or a few more pairs of shoes getting shipped out. ill keep rocking them i think.

so its monday on a friday, im tired, stuck at work (duty), and I wear funny (yet breathtakingly cool) shoes.

my world looks alright to me today.

i had fully intended to post my dmb/tom’s shoes post, making you insanely jealous, and laughing at how unmanly i look in toms shoes.

then i flip over to CNN and see Mrs. Osteen is getting sued over roughing up a flight attendant supposedly over a stain on her first class seat.

the long history of the cult of personality in america is well established and frighteningly healthy. some days, if you watch, celebrity news dominates actual news.

i hear you: um, duh, adam, we all already blog about it. that’s why its up to us to get the word out about tom’s shoes, or compassion, etc.

look….i hear you.

but the cult of personality can apply to christians as well.

I love Erwin McManus, Rob Bell, Paul Washer. The constantly give me food for thought.

I love Ragamuffin Soul, Brody Harper, Anne Jackson, Pete Wilson simply because they are regular people like me just trying to get it right more than they get it wrong. and especially with Pete and Carlos, helping others along the way.

if Mrs. Osteen was Mrs. Jones, would it matter really? its only because it is Mrs. Osteen that its news.

and it kills me.

she’s human. she’s going to make mistakes. I realize this. but lady, aren’t you a co-pastor with your husband?

you can’t go smacking up flight attendants. and if you had been anything but blonde and caucasian the sky marshall might have put some bruises on you in this day and age.

and this comment might get some flack but honestly, i don’t care if you are an uber-big mega church pastor, you should fly in coach. you can’t tell me to give every ‘week when you ride to the airport in a SL500, wearing an outfit costing more than my paycheck, and smack up some poor lady doing her job just because your seat is a little dirty.

and if you are a mega church pastor and read that, please understand, i don’t fault the Osteens for being blessed. not my call really if there message is on point, i don’t think it is, but that’s besides the point.

its hard to let my light “so shine before men” when others always try to turn the attention away with something like this.

okay. i am off to dance in the grass to DMB.